liquid propane / expired food / self immolation

Okay, now that i've issued apologies to Susan (for which i was mortified), the Romulan (i still stand by the assertation that the dog he tied to the roof of his car 20 years ago in a carrier would be a better candidate) and the Pope (bite my ass, but you'd like that wouldn't you, you pedophile enabling, ex-Hitler youth bastard!,) I can continue my important work. My therapist is always saying that i need to say how i really feel. 

Music for a job search;
Genesis, Chicago 2 - 16 -77

Now if i can just get my mom to stop eating expired food; olive oil from 2011, minced garlic 2011, and analgesics that expired in 2005 and 2007! My work is never done

I've never lived in Ansonia, so i never realized what a squalid, redneck town it was. When mum went to get the propane tank filled, the moron over-filled it. I had the burgers on for five minutes and the flame went out. I looked at the regulator and it had frost on it! In August! So i went to the Internet and found out that when it's overfilled it leaks liquid propane and freezes up. It is also very dangerous and can explode. So i detached it and mum cooked the burgers on a Foreman Grill. When i took it back the next day to BJ's Warehouse, they told me to bleed it off myself. I told them that the Internet suggested i call the fire department in such situations because it's quite dangerous. I said, "No way, you messed up, you bleed it." Then 3 people who worked there asked me if i had a screwdriver to bleed it! I said, "This is a warehouse! You don't have a screwdriver?" I picked up a pair of sissors off her desk and said, "Here, use this!" And i forgot to add that a bird had flown into the warehouse was caught in a cage that had electronic goods behind her. The woman at the desk screamed. "You're afraid of birds?" I asked. She nodded. I said, "It's in a cage. It won't get out, and if it does, I'll protect you." 

When i went out back, the guy was giving me lip. "How do you know it's too full?" Because the regulator had frost on it. And because i looked it up on the Internet. And because i know how to read!  In the end, it took an hour to get the tank bled out. All i could think about was that if i cut the guy's femoral artery he would have bled out in under five minutes. Now that's efficiency. So, less than 5 days after coming home, i could have blown myself up. Like Daffy Duck in that one episode.
daffy duck - i can only do it once